It took me over 20 years to reconnect to myself
and to continue at the point where I stopped by the age of 13 as a youth. I started to lose the connection to myself, started not to know who I am and what I wanted in life. I faded away. All these years I have not lived my true self. I have not lived a happy, joyful, and fulfilled life. Not even to mention meaningfulness or purpose. Until the day I have made a conscious choice to leave my old life behind. It was in 2017 when I decided to change my life. I made myself a promise: “To live a happy, fulfilled and joyful, especially no more senseless life!” It was more than a promise. It is a mindset shift. It is a choice. A decision.
The past 3 years, after a complete change in my life, quitting everything and starting completely from scratch, I at first didn’t know what to do in my life. Just like I didn’t all life long. So once again I started searching. I like many times before started a new school. But whatever I did, it just didn’t feel right. In the very past, my mindset was like, I need a job, any job, to earn money and to live. So obviously I was looking for a job of which I knew I was able to do, where my skills and experiences were sufficient. But that was the crucial rat race. I didn’t want to do what I was doing but it was the only thing I could do. So I was trapped. In a never-ending wheel, a circle without an end. For many years this was my reality. Sad I had to lose so much time in my life to finally acknowledge the things I always felt deep inside of me but pushed them aside thinking that those inner desires wouldn’t bring me anywhere. I could clearly tell my intuition, my desire but I didn’t know what to do with it.
All my youth and adolescence I was hoping to find someone that would not just care about my issues (cause my parents did) but would also help me to find my way (which my parents couldn’t) Looking back now, I know, that this was MY WAY! It’s the time and experience in life I needed to come to the point at which I am now. So yes we can get help and support from others but yes we also need to accept that what we experience is needed. Each to his own time, whenever the time is right.
It’s a process and we cannot skip chapters. We can do things that help us direct our life in the direction we want but to get to the point where we actually start to believe that we have the power to steer our destiny, is only when you are ready for it and then you will know that you have found the biggest treasure on earth; the secret. It’s not magic it’s simple. You just need to believe in it. But when u reached that point you will know cause it feels like an enlightenment! Your life will never be the same again. Thankfully I can say that this wonderful present was given to me and now I can’t do anything different than to share it with those who are open to receive it.